Can’t Reverse Time

How often do you look back in time? How often do you look back to the days of your childhood and teenage years, twenties and so forth? How often do you remember  grade school, high school, college, etc? I try to forget some things from my past. I wish it were easy  to go back and change things, but life just doesn’t work that way. My childhood was hard for me. There are so many bad memories, mostly from the days I was in school. It would be wrong to forget about the good memories, however, because I do have plenty of those. They are so vivid to this day. They don’t include school, but I would be remiss in not mentioning them. 

         

There were the trips that we took, my parents, sisters and I. We would go to the beach and the mountains. We went to Georgia quite a bit. Along with that, sometimes we went to ball games. I can remember going to a baseball game in Atlanta where we saw the Braves play one year. I can’t remember how old I was, but I do remember things about it. I remember the sights and the sounds. The large crowd was eye opening to a young kid. I also remember seeing them on tv a lot. They came on TBS superstation at that time, so I thought it was neat that I might be on tv. I don’t know if  I was, but you never know. I could have a been on center stage. They could have gone to a commercial and panned the camera right to me. I went with my church youth group another year, and my wife and I have gone to a couple of games. Each time, I was always reminded of that very first time. 

       

I want to try and let the good memories outweigh the bad. I can’t do things over again, so there’s no point in pondering how things were. Life has just been a battle for me, and sometimes it’s human nature to focus on the battles. I’ve shared in previous pieces about my disability. My challenges always made me different, and it was noticeable. With that came ridicule from peers. However, I made it through that, and I’ve overcome many more things in my life. Surprisingly, it helped shape and mold who I am today. I don’t want my girls to go through what I did. That’s something I pray they are protected from. How do I teach them to overcome it if it’s ever something they experience? How do I teach them not to not let it get to them? It was a hard lesson for me. In time I won’t be able to be with them in every moment. And in their teen years, they won’t want me to be. I laugh at that because I know that feeling. We all do. I just hope the good outweighs the bad in the days of their youth. 

       

I look back in hindsight and see what life was like for me. As hard as my past was, I wouldn’t change it. It sounds funny even to me to say that. I saw how God helped me get past all of the  obstacles I faced. It took me until my adulthood to see that. I’m grateful that he got me through. No matter how hard things were, I got past them. So don’t let anyone make you feel inferior without your consent.  That quote by Elenor Roosevelt is so true. If I’d only grasped that  concept way back when, I would have been better off. I don’t yet know the reasons that I experienced what I did growing up. I have memories of all of it to this day. I’m 41 now, and it’s as it were yesterday. Cliche or not, it’s true. I’m holding on for dear life to the good memories. There are so many. I don’t want to ever lose sight of them. Hold on to good memories of years gone by. Hopefully for you the good outweighs the bad.